Adam\’s Stream of Consciousness

If you blog it, they will come

Who Wants to be a Superhero week 2

Posted by Adam on August 4, 2006

After last week’s spectacular debut, can the second week possibly live up to expectations? Truth be told that as the episode was progressing I couldn’t help but feel a bit underwhelmed. The absurdity and satire was still very apparent, but much like the Iron Enforcers outfit something was missing. I’m getting ahead of myself though. We must start where all tales do: at the beginning.

Things start off this week with the potential superheroes asked to write anonymous questions about their fellow crusaders. The queries ranged from the obvious to personal attacks on characters. Highlights being Iron Enforcer all but admitting to using steroids, Creature saying she doesn’t wash her dreadlocked hair, and Major Victory tripping over his words as he tells Stan and the gang that he wants children to admire his exotic dancing. I can’t make this stuff up.

After the comic book hopefuls dared and double dared each other it was time for our physcial challenge. The task involved “hopping” a fence and traversing across a backyard to the back entrance of a helpless old lady’s house. Standing in the way of our do-gooders were two trained attack dogs. Some had little problem completing their objective (Major Victory, Feedback, and Tyveculus), others put forth little effort (Cell Phone Girl, Lemuria, Fat Momma, and Creature), and then we had Monkey Woman and Iron Enforcer. To say that one persevered and completed the task at hand while the other literally cried “uncle” would not be surprising, but little could we imagine who would be playing each role. Iron Enforcer made it to the stoop of the house only to fall short mere inches from the door, while Monkey Woman fought for almost ten minutes before finally arriving at said door. The results of this trial sparked the first elimination of the night, as Cell Phone Girl got her service disconnected after only lasting four seconds with the dogs.

Spirits were lifted, following the exodus of one of their own, when the super hopefuls were given costume makeovers. Things progressed swimmingly for the most part during this special effects filled bonanza, though there were three costumed comrades who did not perform up to snuff and were sent before Stan for another elimination. Tyveculus received, shall we say, a substandard new outfit but decided his best course of action was to lie to Mr. Lee and act elated. As he emerged to show off his new digs Feedback, after viewing the new flaired head dress of Ty, joked about his trojan clad lair-mate being Stan’s “biggest fan”. Tyveculus then decided it was in his best interest to admit to Mr. Lee that he was not enjoy the new look, and thus was allowed to return to his original costume. Finally when Iron Enforcer emerged from the changing room Stan couldn’t help but think there was something missing from his new look, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. With these three men on the pedistals of elimination, it was Iron Enforcer who was sent packing. It seems that the fourth time was the charm for this roid raging bodyguard.

This episode would not end with letdown however. In a move sure to be talked about for hours, if not days, to come, our cameras followed the former Iron Enforcer as he made a reluctant trek away from the lair. Then, out of a pile of trash, a televisoin turns on. Stan makes our fallen hero an offer he can’t refuse. He figured out what was amiss with the Iron Enforcer outfit. Turns out our shaved headed mass of muscle wasn’t cut out to be a superhero at all, but rather it was the persona that was all wrong. Stan asks the man to join him in thwarting the advances of the hero hopefuls as their new nemesis … the Dark Enforcer!

Time is running out for you to jump aboard this ship. There are only four episodes left in the mini-season. The joys of watching grown adults act like eight year olds is priceless, and now with the Enforcer infinitely better cast as an arch-villian the potential for comic gold is even higher. Until next week — Excelsior!

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